By Marla Lowder
4-H & Youth Development Agent
As we head back to school, I am reminded of a thing that was passed to me from a Facebook page called “Help a Teacher.” It is called “The Real School Supply List.”
We need to buy notebooks, pens, pencils, etc. But have you thought about the things that can really make a difference? Let’s talk about them.
- Read with your child. I was talking with an adult a little while ago and she told me that when her son was younger, he struggled with reading. The teacher told her that someone in the family needed to read with him every night for half an hour. So, the boy’s father read with him each night. In six months, the boy’s reading level had greatly improved. Teachers can’t do it all on their own and parents should be invested in their children. It is important to work together.
- Play games together. Quality time is so important. Playing games is a way to help everyone loosen up, have a good time and laugh, the best medicine. It is also a way to teach coping skills and how to take turns.
- Enforce rules and schedules. If you have gotten lax with the schedule this summer, it’s time to get them back into a school routine. Sleep is important for little ones. If you have rules, make sure they are following them. Agree on the rules and stick to them. If they get away with it one time, it is easier to do it the next time and misbehavior can flow over into other rules. Be careful with breaking or bending the rules: It is better just to enforce them.
- Assign chores. Chores teach work ethics and responsibility. It doesn’t matter the chore, just make sure each child is contributing. In my opinion, they don’t need to be paid for it. It is good to be able to do something to help the family, and it will help them when they are on their own if they know how to clean their house or take on the responsibilities of owning a pet.
- Cook meals together. So many youth don’t know how to cook because we have become a generation of fast food and already prepared food. I remember sitting around the table with my family and having good conversations. Once a week we were assigned to help cook a meal with Mom or a sibling. I learned the basics of cooking and how to make a meal from scratch. Plus, I got to know my mom and siblings better.
- Have conversations, even silly ones. While playing games or cooking, there are always conversations to be had. If you can have simple conversations with your kids and build a relationship, when they are older and really need to talk, they are more likely to come to you for help.
- Limit screen time. This is so important. I catch myself on my phone or watching TV way too much. I get aggravated with the time I waste — this is something I need to work on for myself. Youth can use the screen-free time to get their homework done.
- Encourage and praise effort. Be a part of their life, as it is a hard one. It is not the same childhood we had; there are more challenges for our youth nowadays. It is important to let them know they are worth it and that they do good jobs.
- Be mindful of what they hear you say. In working with youth, I have seen how parents influence their children. They look up to you and learn from you. Be careful of how you talk about others in front of your kids because they will pick up your opinions and share them with others.
- Practice coping techniques for tough situations. This is a tough one. We all get in hard situations and we need to learn how to deal with those problems. Sometimes it is OK to say, “I need some alone time” and walk away. If you are going to talk it out, then both people need to be willing to talk and listen to each other.
- Communicate with teachers. This is probably the biggest key. As children head back to school, please communicate with their teachers. If you homeschool, communicate with your youth. Go back to the first item in this list and remember how the dad read with the child every night at the suggestion of the teacher? Work together and talk with your youth’s teacher: You are a team and you both want what’s best for your child.
4-H is a youth organization for youth K-12 that helps youth learn about certain items of interest to them, but also teaches them life skills. 4-H has a club structure with leaders who are adult volunteers with current background checks. To learn more about the local program, contact Marla Lowder, Tanana District 4-H agent, at 907-474-2427 or 907-474-2450. You can also check out our web page at www.alaska4h.org/fairbankstanana-district.html. 4-H is a part of the Cooperative Extension Service of the University of Alaska Fairbanks.
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